Friday, 20 September 2024

Comment on the Time machine story

 If anyone is wondering about the time travel story and the social media updates within that story, those are the actual updates I posted on Facebook back in 2013 or so I think. And this is actually true even if anyone wasn't wondering about them. Anyway, I had managed to save the updates in text form, even if I did at some point clean up my FB account. I now wish I had taken screenshots, but I didn't.

Anyway, I posted them once a day, as one would post any updates from one's life. It was a kind of story telling experiment. Anyway, the plan was always to build the story around those updates but I was debating between various formats from just writing out the story to creating a comic to even animation or live video.

Now it seems I've finally managed to make a start on writing out the story.


Fiction: My mail order time machine, third part

 My mail order time machine

Third

Had more visitors. First another future me (this one was bald, while the one yesterday had long hair) came by and told me that the robot overlord will get whiff of my plans for world domination by researching old NSA archives. Then the one from yesterday showed up and the two proceeded to have an argument about my plans and what I should do. I was in no mood for my stupid crap so went out for a beer. When I got back they were gone, and so was what was supposed to be my dinner for today and tomorrow. Bastards. I am now researching temporal shielding to see if it might prevent further visits. 

The day started off like many other days in my life. With a medium-strength headache. Maybe it was the whisky, I thought. Or the beers, possibly even the wine. Impossible to know. I got up and walked into my bathroom for a quick shower. As I was rinsing my hair, the door opened and a bald head peeked in. “Ah, you are in the shower,” the head said, with my voice. “Yeah, go wait in the living room or something,” I said. “And close the door!” I added when the head pulled back. The owner of the head did as I asked and closed the door. Is this how things were going to be now? Future versions of me just dropping by unexpectedly, invading my privacy and in general being a massive source of annoyance and nuisance. I wondered what this new version wanted. And what’s with the bald head? Am I going to lose my hair? Of course, I reminded myself that I had shaved my head before, so it could just be that in whatever time this new visitor came from I am still going through the cycle of letting my hair grow out and then shaving it all off and letting it grow out again. I suppose it could even the guy from yesterday, I thought, if he had shaved his head. Then again, it's all the same guy, me. Is it the one who visited me yesterday if he waited one day to come back? Is it still him if he waited a week? A month? And further, what if it was him but a month earlier? After I was done with my shower, I went back to the bedroom and got dressed, choosing for a simple black t-shirt and blue jeans. Then I walked out to the living room. The bald me was sitting on the sofa playing with my game console. Do I not have one in the future? Or do future versions of me not have a lot of time to play? I need to make sure I spend a bit more time playing while I still can, I thought. “So what is it that you want?” I asked, perhaps a bit more rudely than I wanted. Or perhaps just slightly less obviously rudely. Or maybe I wasn’t being and sounding rude enough. I couldn’t quite make up my mind. “I just woke up this morning with this memory of visiting the older version of me that had just got the time machine, and I thought I should follow up on that,” the bald me said. “Yeah, ok.” So, he was from further in the future than my visitor yesterday. “I didn’t really have much time to try to do anything yet.” “Good,” he said. “You also shouldn’t rush into anything. Time travel can be ...” his voice trailed off, along with his gaze that seemed to suddenly be concentrating on something other than the physically present world around him. “Time travel can be dangerous,” he finished after a moment, his eyes turning to look directly into mine. “Ok...” “You met the robots.” “Right. I did. Well, one, I met one.” “They are not necessarily happy with someone else planning to take over the world.” “But I didn’t - “ “Not yet, but you will,” he cut me off. “That was another thing I just remembered this morning, the plans I – you – made for world domination after the first visit.” “Good plans?” “The best plans.” Clearly, I had retained my mock arrogance. Also, I hadn’t made any plans. Not yet, anyway. Maybe he’ll share some of them to save me some trouble. “So did I – we – follow through on those plans?” I asked. “I only remember making them, not acting on them yet. Time works in a funny way, with changes. They take time to propagate through time. Come to think it, maybe I could try to explain it, that might help me to understand it even better myself. You know, if you learn it now, you’ve had plenty of time to think about it by the time you become me.” The bald me got up and looked around as if looking for something. “I don’t suppose you have a whiteboard I don’t remember having?” I shook my head. “Oh well, I just suddenly felt inspired,” the bald me said. “But I’m still not really a presenter.” “You seem more comfortable with it than I am,” I offered. He looked at me with a small smile. “To be fair, that is rather easy.” Then he brought his hands together with a clap. “Ok, imagine that you are able to travel through time.” “That I -” He pinched his index finger and thumb together on both hands in front of his face and pulled them to sides as if he was pulling on the ends of an invisible string. “Just listen now.” I zipped my lips and threw the key over my shoulder. He nodded approvingly. Of course, zippers don’t have keys so my gesture was flawed and nonsensical but that didn’t bother either of us. “So, imagine that you are able to travel through time,” he started again. I lifted my hands, rolling my eyes. “And you decide to go into the past and change something.” He looked at me, pointedly. Should I now say something? I wasn’t the one that had changed anything, though I did go to the past... but nobody saw me, and I did not change anything. As far as I knew. “Maybe you don’t even directly change anything yourself, but you somehow initiate a change. Doesn’t really matter, the end result is that something in your past changes from how it was, and that change has consequences over time all the way to your current time.” He looked at me again. I made an effort to look interested. “Before you went to the past to make that change,” he continued, “you had certain specific memories of your life, of events around you, et cetera et cetera.” I was nodding my head slightly; where this seemed to be heading was sort of making some kind of sense. So far. “When you get back, the change has been made in your past. Again, whether you directly changed something, or someone in the past did something different because of your visit, doesn’t matter. What matters is that the timeline is in flux at that moment.” I opened my mouth to speak, and he lifted one finger up tilting his head slightly. “Now, you still remember the original timeline, and you don’t right away know what the full impact of the change has been. I, for example, remember not having a time machine.” “Well, so do I, I only got it like yesterday or so.” “Not what I meant. And I believe it was the day before for you.” He looked at me as if I was the biggest disappointment he had ever dealt with. I have to admit I sometimes feel the same. “The point I’m trying to make is that the changes catch up with your present gradually. And it can be very disorienting, it all depends a bit on the magnitude and number of changes the timeline – and you – have to adjust to.” “So, what you meant is that the time machine is new to our timeline. You went through being me without having had a time machine.” “Correct. And learning about it was not a big change. But the slightly earlier me learned about it before I did and as I was a bit more gung-ho during that period of my life, he naturally paid you a visit. And suddenly I remember making that visit. And then the memory of being visited makes its way to me too.” “Sounds disturbing.” “That’s one way to call it.” The bald me sat down. “And then I start to get these memories of the plans I had made – you made – will make.” He looked at me. “And those plans are becoming clearer and clearer.” “But you still have no memories of having followed through with any of those plans, right?” “That is correct, but the robots have caught wind of it, so I must have done something.” “Or maybe we’ve talked about the plans somewhere where the robots have seen or heard it?” I offered. The baldie shrugged his shoulders. “Can be I guess.” Then he looked at me pointedly. “Actually, didn’t you post some stuff on social media about it?” I hesitated. “Not really...” The bald me pulled out a mobile phone and fiddled with it for a bit. “Yeah, you did. Just yesterday you mentioned your nefarious plans.” He showed me my update from last night. “Just that could be enough to get the robots interested, especially if they have a way to detect the time travel activity, which I actually suspect they do. Anyway, I cannot see if you’ll post more, since when here I can only access what is current, so just try to avoid it ok?” “Sure,” I said, trying to sound convinced. Or convincing. Or both. “Will do. Or won’t do, rather.” I flashed a smile. He looked at me blankly. I think I was failing on the convincing goal. “Anyway, I think I should get going,” the bald me said and got a constipated look on his face. I wasn’t sure if that was the reason he wanted to go, or a result of him trying to concentrate on going home. But suddenly there was a rush of air being replaced by something arriving with a flashy bang. It was the other future me. He looked around, saw me and the bald me, and shook his head. “Right, who’s this then?” “Hairy, meet baldie. Baldie, hairy,” I offered introductions. “I don’t remember you,” the hairy me said. “That’d be because I’m future you,” the bald me replied. “Though in a moment you should probably remember me visiting your past self,” he continued. “Right. I’m still a bit new to this time travel stuff,” the hairy me said and took one of my dining table chairs and sat down. “So, what’s up?” “I was just telling our past self about the attention we may be getting from the robots, because of our plans for world domination,” the bald me started. “Do you think they are getting worried? Good.” “Not so much worried, as perhaps annoyed. You see, we are nothing but ants to them.” “I think I disagree.” “I’ve actually spent time monitoring them, which I don’t remember you having done. So I think I know just a little bit better how the robots think. And I can tell you that they would find your attitude disrespectful. That alone would invite a smacking down.” “We cannot live in fear of a bit of a ´smacking down´. We have to do what is right.” “Taking over the world is what you would call doing what is right, then?” “If the alternative is them taking over the world, as they did when there was nobody to oppose them, yes.” “And do you think with the plans we have, that we would be any better than they are?” I looked at the two future versions of me. They were starting to become irritated with each other, and I didn’t think this argument was going to go anywhere anytime soon, so I started to think I probably had something better to do with my time than to watch and listen to myself arguing with myself, when I didn’t really have anything to offer to the argument. Not that I felt they did either, but they had convinced themselves otherwise. I quietly made my way to the door, put on my shoes and a hoodie and slipped out. I returned home later that day, and both future versions of me were gone. They seemed to have stayed a while though. I cleaned up the empty beer cans and bottles, closed the half empty bottle of wine – then on second thought poured myself a glass and took a sip. Checked the fridge and saw they had not restocked. Also, my left over pasta casserole was gone. I headed back out to get some fresh food and drinks from the supermarket. Later that night, I was in front of computer. I had the thought I would like to find a way to prevent these visits from my futures selves, so I was diving into the world of imaginary physics of temporal displacement theories – which I guess were not necessarily as imaginary as I would have thought just a couple of days ago – and trying to look for ways to create some kind of shield that could stop anyone from being able to travel to my current time and location. Before turning in even later that night, I wrote a quick update for my devote fanbase on social media. “Had more visitors. First another future me (this one was bald, while the one yesterday had long hair) came by and told me that the robot overlord will get whiff of my plans for world domination by researching old NSA archives. Then the one from yesterday showed up and the two proceeded to have an argument about my plans and what I should do. I was in no mood for my stupid crap so went out for a beer. When I got back they were gone, and so was what was supposed to be my dinner for today and tomorrow. Bastards. I am now researching temporal shielding to see if it might prevent further visits.” I fell asleep to the steady dinging of the avalanche of likes.

 

Monday, 2 September 2024

Fiction: My mail order time machine, second part

My mail order time machine

Second 

Had a visit from my future self. Apparently I never got around to taking the time machine out on garbage collection days, which doesn't surprise me. He wanted to know why I didn't make more of an effort to take over the world when I had the chance. So taking another look at my nefarious plans. 

The next morning, I woke up with a mild headache. Too many beers, I thought to myself and decided for the umpteenth time to not do it again. Or maybe it was the wine that was the problem. Who could tell, I thought and went to take a quick shower. When I got out of the shower and walked into my living room, towel in hand drying off bits and pieces, I saw myself sitting on the sofa and playing a game on the game console that shall not be named to avoid any unpaid advertising. I looked like myself, with long hair and short stubble. Not bad, I thought. Not great, but not bad. I wrapped my towel around my waist. It was just me in the room with myself, but I still felt some level of decency should be observed. The me on the sofa turned to look at me standing there with my hair still a bit wet and hanging over my eyes. I brushed the hair away from my face with my hand and wrapped the towel around my waist a little bit tighter. “Um.” That’s all I managed to say, looking at the other me. “Hi,” the me on the sofa said. “Sorry to pop in like this, but I wanted to have a bit of a chat.” He turned off the console and the TV. “Why don’t you get dressed though, I’ll make us a cup of coffee. Or two cups of coffee, since I don’t like sharing.” He got up from the sofa and started toward the kitchen, then stopped and looked at me. “That is, if I can remember where everything is,” he added with a smile. “Um, ok,” I said, and turned around and walked to the bedroom. “Just don’t wear the same thing as I’m wearing, because then even I might start getting confused,” the other me called out after me. “Ok,” I said and closed the bedroom door behind me. I couldn’t remember what the other me was wearing, and I felt it would be stupid to ask, so the first thing I did was to try to logically decide what would be the least likely thing for me to wear if I was a future me and decided to pop back into the past to give myself a visit. “I’m wearing one of my Commodore –shirts and blue jeans,” I heard from behind the door. And then I heard steps heading back into kitchen. “Got it, thanks,” I replied. How helpful of me, I thought to myself as I opened my wardrobe and started to look through my not-so-extensive collection of clothing items. As I was going through my options, my brains engaged in a quick process of decision making. I don’t think I have any commodore-shirts so should easily manage to avoid that. Blue jeans are the only kind of trousers I have these days though, but if I wear something already a bit older then I think I’ll be safe. And for the shirt just a plain white one will do. I closed the wardrobe and checked myself in the mirror. After I was finished admiring the view I headed back out to the living room. The coffee was ready and the other me was sitting at the table. There were two cups full of steaming deliciousness. I took one. “That’s mine.” “Oh, sorry.” I put the cup down and reached for the other. “That’s mine too,” the other me said with the wink as he picked up the second cup. “As you are the past me, anything you have is mine, because I am you. You, however, are not me, because you lack the experience that would make you me.” “The cups, of course, are both yours as well,” he then added. “Next time I might bring one of my own.” I gave a small mock laugh. “Ha-ha.” Leave it to me to spoil the joke and make it into philosophical exploration of self. I took the first cup and tasted the coffee. It was as it was supposed to be. We are talking about instant coffee anyway, so expectations aren’t set too high to make it easier to meet them. “What did you want to talk about?” I asked the other me. “I was just curious why you never made more use of the time machine.” He put his cup down and stared into my eyes. “No schemes to make money, no attempt to get ahead in anyway. The least you could have done is to take over the world, so I didn’t have to.” The future me seems to think himself quite a comedian. “To be honest,” he continued, “I had forgotten about the time machine myself. I think I thought I – we – you – had thrown it out, but I just found it in one of my moving boxes. I tried it out, and it worked just like it did the first time.” “Where did you go?” I asked. “Well, here,” he said, gesturing to his physical presence and the space he was in. “Oh, so coming here to my time, this is your proof that the machine still works.” “Indeed, it is.” “Works as well as any other trip, I guess.” “And it was safe, since I knew you had just got the machine. And I wanted to give you a nudge to do something with it.” “So that you don’t have to.” “Exactamundo,” the other me said and pointed at me with his coffee cup before taking one more sip. He then stood up. “But now I probably should head back to my time.” “When is that?” I asked. I had no plan to visit the other me, but I was curious how old he was. He looked good. The other me smiled. “I know what you’re thinking. I’m from ten years in your future, and I’ve taken up some slightly better habits than the ones I had when I was you.” He walked over to the centre of the room and waved his arms around as if to check that there was nothing too close to him. “You know, the thought just came to me that it’s a little bit odd that I had no memory of me coming to meet myself before I made the trip. And then some memories suddenly started to pop up,” the other me said. “I wonder why that is,” he continued with a puzzled look on his face. “Oh well,” he then shrugged, “Now I want to be home.” The other me vanished in a flash of light. There was a quick disturbance of the air as it rushed to fill the space where his physical body had been. Later that night, I finished the day with another update on social media. “Had a visit from my future self. Apparently I never got around to taking the time machine out on garbage collection days, which doesn't surprise me. He wanted to know why I didn't make more of an effort to take over the world when I had the chance. So taking another look at my nefarious plans.” Again, after a few moments the computer speaker started making dinging sounds to mark people liking my post. One could get addicted to this, I thought, and turned the volume down. I should probably look into those habits of mine, and take up some better ones, I thought to myself as I opened my first beer. But before that, some relaxed relaxing. Obviously, I'll get to it at some point.


Wednesday, 14 August 2024

Fiction: My mail order time machine, first part

My mail order time machine

First 

My mail order time machine arrived. Went to the past and it was all reruns. Went to the future and didn't like the robot overlord. So I guess you all are stuck with me in the present. 

An ad in one of those free distribution papers caught my eye the other day. The ad was by a company advertising a time machine to “right the wrongs of the past for a better future”. I would perhaps boldly claim that I am not always one to fall for stupid scams. Usually, they need to be at least a little bit clever to get me, but I somehow just felt like I needed to have this machine. I really cannot tell why that feeling was so strong. Thinking back to that day, I don’t think I expected the machine to work – though I think I did have some kind of irrational hope that it would – but it promised an exhilarating audio-visual experience I wouldn’t want to miss. I must somewhat reluctantly admit that if there was such a thing as a list of things I never want to miss, things I wouldn’t want to miss would almost certainly be on it. The other thing they promised was guaranteed satisfaction, or my money back if for any reason I am not happy with my purchase. Price was certainly steep, but I figured it would be worth it if my satisfaction was indeed guaranteed. And in case it did not work out as promised, which I did consider the more likely possibility, I’d just get my money back. The way I saw it, I could not lose, and so I went ahead and cut out the little coupon, filled in my details, ran off to drop it in the mailbox and started waiting. It did occur to me that if they really had a working time machine, they should go back in time when they receive my coupon so that they can send my machine to arrive as soon as I had sent in my coupon. That would have been legitimately cool. But that did not happen. Maybe there is a problem with post and my coupon never arrives. Or maybe they just do not have the ability for the level of creative thinking needed. So, I waited. It was odd to not have the instant confirmation that my order has been received, though. It was a bit odd to have a coupon to cut out, fill and mail, to be honest. But this is how ordering things by post used to work before everything was online on the internet. There also were no updates on the processing of the order, when it would be shipping, or any tracking information. I just did not know if the machine was ever going to arrive. How refreshing that felt. After a few days I stopped thinking about it. It took a while, and then a bit longer, but finally my mail order time machine arrived. Just before I forgot I had ordered it. One could say it was an expected surprise. I was admittedly somewhat excited to open the package and unwrap the device. Afterwards I did think I should have done an unboxing video, but then I thought I’ll just go back in time later to create one. In the box with the device was a folded A4 sheet. I unfolded it, prepared for complicated instructions. “PRESS button to turn ON. Then follow instructions.” That’s what the sheet said and that is all that it said. With a picture of a kitten playing with a ball below the text. Because kittens follow instructions? I couldn’t figure it out. On the bottom of the sheet there was the name and address of the company that had sold the machine to me. I turned the paper over, but the other side was empty, apart from circular coffee stain. I cleaned away the packaging materials and placed the machine on my dining table. I looked at it. It was a black, square box, roughly 5 centimetres high and 15 centimetres wide and deep. There were no visible ports or connectors, which was just as well since it came with no cables. The top of the machine was just slightly rounded so that the middle part was a bit higher than the sides and, in the middle of that, there was a round button-like indentation. I shrugged my shoulders. “Ok, whatever, here we go,” I said to myself and pressed the button. My head was at once filled with a singular question: which time do you want to travel to? Without giving it much thought I thought the eighties, which I feel very nostalgic about. I felt the urge to be more precise and came up with a date of May 5, 1982, at 1pm sharp. I added our home address at the time as a physical location. And everything around me got a bit blurry, and I felt being pulled into different directions, there was a blinding flash of light and a sudden jolt with an audible bang and then it all stopped. I tried to look around, blinking, but it took a moment before my eyers recovered. When they did, I could see I was standing in front of our old home. I looked around, somewhat astonished. I tried to take a step but stumbled on a tricycle and fell over catching myself with my hands. I got back up on my feet and walked over to the front door. I tried the door, but it wouldn't open. Next to the door the wall had a small ledge, on which was a black plastic carburettor cover. Our spare key was hidden under it. I took the key, unlocked the door and put they back in its hiding place. Ok, this is kind of cool, I thought, and stepped in. There was a little ante room, and I pulled the front door closed behind me and opened the door to the entrance room where the shoes and coats were kept and from where doors led to the kitchen ahead, and to the living room on the left. There was also a door to a small WC. It was like going back in time, I thought to myself as I stopped and took a good look around. And that is exactly what it was. I had gone back in time. I had still had some doubts before I opened the door, but now standing in my old childhood home I could not explain it any other way. It was just like I remembered, from before when the kitchen was renovated. There was the wooden stove we were then still mostly using for cooking and baking, even if there was a small electric stove as well. The old radio was there on the counter, I turned it on and was greeted by era-appropriate music. I turned it off again. I peeked into the living room, the black and white tv was there on the left next to the spiral staircase. The old beige leather sofa set was still there too and the bookcase with all the pictures, the encyclopaedia and other assorted books and knickknacks. I turned on the tv. One channel was showing some school tv programming, and the other channel displayed the tuning picture. And that was all there was. I turned the TV off and checked out the newspaper. Reading the news was like traveling back in time. Which I had just done, I had to remind myself. It was all so familiar, yet at the same time not and I realized that back then I wasn’t actively following news and current events – I was after all just shy of nine years old – but I had been on some level aware of these things I was now reading about in the paper. I looked out the window and suddenly saw a car going past coming into the yard. It was the whole family, returning from somewhere. I must leave, I thought. I looked around, as if searching for a way out. Then I thought, how do I leave? How do I get back to my own time? I want to get back to my own time, I thought. And then everything got blurry again, and after a quick flash during which I this time closed my eyes to not be blinded again, I was standing back in my own apartment in the current time. Ok, so that’s how it works, I thought to myself. Visiting the past was certainly something I could enjoy doing a bit more, though I felt that I would have to do a bit more research and more planning for any future trips. I had probably been just plain lucky to not get caught up in a weird meeting with my younger self. Or anyone who might find it concerning to see a strange man roaming about the property or in the house. At least I did not have any memories of meeting someone like me in our house when I was a kid, so I guess that won’t happen. What about the future then, I thought. And I pressed the button on top of the machine again. May 5, 2056, please, location in front of Amsterdam Central station. A moment later I was standing in front of the central station. It still looked like a construction site, very much the same as it had looked like the last five years in my time. I briefly wondered if the current project had broken all records for delays, but probably they were working on something new. In any case, the barriers that had been setup to prevent tourists and others not in full control of their faculties from walking into the machinery, trams, traffic and into the water, had conveniently shielded me from anyone’s view as I imagined I had pretty much appeared out of thin air. Not that there were so many people around, I noticed suddenly, as I was looking around. It was also somewhat quiet with the trams and busses. The few people whom I could see were walking very quickly and keeping their eyes down. I was about to try to approach one of them, when suddenly I heard a robotic voice. “Hey, you there! Human!” I looked around and saw a metallic looking figure approaching one of the people walking over the open area in front of the station. The person, who looked like a man from a distance, stopped and turned in the direction of the figure that in all appearances seemed to be a robotic, artificial entity, but kept their face pointed downwards. “What is your business here?” the robot asked, and the man said something too quietly for me to hear. The robot was quiet for a moment, looking slightly upward as if it were listening to something, and then waved its hand. “Very well, proceed. Bleep-Bloop.” The man hurried on his way and the robot proceeded to cross the station square. “The Overlord appreciation day is coming!” came suddenly a booming voice from everywhere and I saw the whole side of the station had turned into a screen. It was showing a gigantic robotic figure with human-like but clearly artificial face that was smiling in a very menacing, inhuman way. The sight sent chills down my spine. “Are you prepared to show your appreciation to your Overlord?” the voice continued. The imagery showed people bowing as low as they can in front of the army of robots, with the giant robotic figure looming over. Then it showed the giant robot picking up a human baby and pretending to kiss it. The baby seemed terrified. If this is the future, I think I’d rather not get there, I thought to myself. I want to go home. After a quick flash and a moment of disorientation I was home. I looked at the time machine. It worked, and while the quick jump to the past had been enjoyable enough, the visit to the future had somehow put me off the idea of enjoying traveling through time. I could of course say that I'm not satisfied, return it and get my money back. On the other hand, when did I pay for it? All I did was fill in the coupon and send it over. I realised that I actually had not paid anything to anyone, and there was no invoice or any instructions for payment in the box either – I checked everything again very carefully – so I wasn’t quite sure how I’d pay either. Well, I don’t mind, I thought. If they want their money, they know where I am. They might not know when I am though, I thought to myself jokingly. I took the machine and put it back into the box and shoved the box into my hallway closet for now. I was thinking I should probably just put it out on the street on the next garbage collection day. But maybe I’d try it out another time. In any case I can always throw it out later. However, that was enough for today, I thought, and started thinking about dinner. Quick look through the fridge revealed I would have to head out to get some groceries if I wanted to eat anything other than plain bread tonight. So off I went for a little shopping expedition to the nearest little supermarket around the corner from my building. A little bit later, I was sitting on my couch in front of the television while gobbling down a microwave lasagna with a nice cold beer and watching some exciting tv series that I had obtained completely and 100% legally for my viewing pleasure. Later that night I posted an update on my social media profile. “My mail order time machine arrived. Went to the past and it was all reruns. Went to the future and didn't like the robot overlord. So I guess you all are stuck with me in the present.” Sitting back, I waited, hoped, for the likes to pour in. It took a while, but eventually they started piling up. I’m popular, I thought and the thought satisfied me. There were a couple of comments asking what’s up and if I was feeling ok, but I ignored those for now.

Tuesday, 13 August 2024

Old things

Edit: Fixed the title of one of the tv-shows.

I like old things.

Old things are cool. But thinking about old things can make one feel old. Because when I was young, those old things were not old. They were (mostly) new or at least not as old as they are now.

I enjoy those old things that used to be new things when I was young. For example, I like to play around with old computers. I used to say that I play with retro computers, but then I read somewhere that they are not retro computers if they are actually the original old computers. Not sure what one should call them then though. Vintage? Or is that just a fancy way of saying old? If so then I am a vintage human. Though I suppose I am not that old yet, just barely past 50. When I was young, 50 was ancient though.

Anyway, so these old computers are not retro. Retro is something that is like something old, but not (necessarily) actually old. Although I suppose there is no rule to say that a retro thing couldn't also be old thing in its own right. Anyway... So these remakes like TheC64 and TheVIC20 and TheA500 are retro. Likewise if I would create for example a game that looks and plays like the old 80s computer games, that would be considered retro. But the actual old game is just old, not retro. There are other people who disagree with this, though, and to these other people using old computers is retrocomputing and playing old games is retrogaming. So I guess the question of what is or is not retro, is something about which many people could spend a lot of time arguing, while others might just agree to disagree with each other.

Another example of old things I like is old TV shows. Shows like Miami Vice, Battlestar Galactica (the original one, though I think by now some might already consider the remake old too), Knight Rider, Star Trek. For me the old Star Trek includes the original series, the Next Generation, Deep Space 9 and Voyager in the context of this post - I do not include Enterprise, partly because I didn't watch it when it was new, and partly because it just doesn't feel old enough to me. One could also argue against including DS9 and Voyager because I wasn't strictly speaking a kid anymore when those were out, but it's my list and I reserve the right to be inconsistent in what is included if I feel like it. Other shows inclde Monthy Python, The Saint, The Persuaders!, Streethawk. Also mustn't forget the animated series called Once upon a time .. man, space, life, those three shows I really enjoyed as a kid.

I am not listing A-team, which is a classic many would bring up, because I never saw it when I was a kid. Which seems to be perhaps somewhat unusual. The Prisoner is another one I saw too late, and just wasn't interested. I did like Sapphire and Steele though, but recently realised I probably saw less of it than my memory suggests, and can really only remember one episode as well.

Space 1999 I can hardly remember. (Evidently so, I couldn't even remember the correct title. In my defence, the title in Finnish was Avaruusasema Alfa, which translates to Space Station Alpha.) Another one I did enjoy was Alias Smith and Jones, though again can remember very little about it. Another that left a lasting impression was Happy Days. And for a while on Sundays I remember watching a show which I recently found out was called Nobody's House. Again memories are vague, more like a feeling of a moment when I was watching the show rather than actually remembering much of anything of the show itself.

I think this topic deserves some follow up posts, but for now this will do. After all, it's been a while since I posted anything.



Wednesday, 29 May 2024

Cooking

I like cooking. I also like to think I am not entirely useless as a cook. Why do I think that? As far as I know, no-one has suffered any serious ill effects from my cooking. As far as I know. I do not count mild discomfort or being bothered by the noise or the smells. Not that I am particularly noisy or smelly either, but sometimes the noise of the pots and pans, or just my swearing, could get to someone. The smells, I think I should not need to explain, but just to be sure I am not talking about escaping gas. There’s a couple of dishes that I do that usually turn out well. The first one I would like to mention is a Finnish dish called Lihamakaronilaatikko. It is an oven casserole of mincemeat and macaroni. Other types of pasta could be used, but then it would not be lihamakaronilaatikko. One could also skip or substitute the meat and drop the liha (meat in Finnish) from the name. Some do. Add some finely chopped onion, garlic, perhaps some paprika and corn, maybe peas, and it is turning into a feast of a dish. The pasta is cooked separately, though one may want to leave it a bit al dente. The sauce, cooked with mincemeat and vegetables, seasoned with salt, pepper, some herbs, is mixed with the pasta and poured into a greased oven dish. Leave a couple of centimetres to the top edge of the oven dish, to avoid things from boiling over. It’s better to have the oven dish a bit less full, than try to fit as much as possible, so if it looks a bit full consider using two dishes or saving some of the mixture for another time. Then a mix of milk and eggs is poured over the mixture. Optimally just about coming to the level of the pasta-sauce mix. Sprinkle some (and then some) grated cheese on top, and into the oven for about an hour at 175 degrees Celsius. The dish is ready when the egg-milk mixture has solidified, and the cheese is nicely brown. Take it out and let it settle for a bit. Enjoy with a nice side of a salad, or on its own. I usually try make enough to have leftovers that can be enjoyed on another day. Next one is a burger mix. I use it to make burgers, meatballs, and meatloaves. I am not one to brag much and often, but I have been told by other people, who are not me or paid by me or threatened with bodily or other harm by me, that my burgers taste good. So, the burger mix is made up of the following ingredients: milk, breadcrumbs, egg, minced beef or pork (or a mix of both), finely chopped onion, finely chopped garlic, salt, pepper, powdered paprika, Worcestershire sauce. I usually do not measure the ingredients very carefully, but I try reasonably hard to not put too much or too little of anything into the mixture. Form into patties, meatballs, or meatloaf. Put the patties on a grill (cooked according to personal preference), meatballs on a pan (medium heat, keep turning till they have a nice colour and transfer to a sauce to finish cooking) or in the oven, meatloaf in the oven (200 degrees Celsius for about 30-40 minutes depending on the size and shape). Third one I would like to mention is a Christmas dish, a potato casserole. Boil potatoes, then mash them. Add a bit of milk, salt, pepper, a bit of flour and mix well. Keep in warm place for a day or so. 50 degrees Celsius in oven works well. Warning, the mixture may develop a smell that one might find slightly unpleasant. If you do not like it, do not sniff it. After a while, the mixture should be getting a bit sweet. If not, or not enough to your liking, add some syrup and mix well. Pour into oven dishes, leaving space to avoid boiling over and bake in the oven in 150 degrees Celsius for a couple of hours. Delicious. So, there you have it. Don't try these at home, unless you really, really want to. I am not responsible for your results though.

Monday, 27 May 2024

Fiction: Cassandra

It was a rather bleak and dreary morning, and I was just enjoying my first cup of coffee of the morning when I came across it. “It” was the blog called “Ghosting time”. Hosted at an unimaginative address of bloggydablog.blogging.com. 

I was at once hooked.  

The author was writing about historical events, but not in the way that I would normally expect. The author was using such vivid and lively descriptions that it really felt like the stories being told were coming to life. For me, someone who was never really that interested in history, it was a completely new and unexpected experience. The blog provided me with a window to extraordinary events, showing how fascinating history can be. What was truly remarkable about the posts was the details the author was able to convey, while the flow of the text felt totally natural and easy to follow. This was most definitely someone who knew inside and out the topics about which they were writing. A scholar, surely, someone who had been studying history and historical events for years. 

My interest well and truly piqued I spent the whole morning and well into the afternoon reading post after post, occasionally searching the internet for details I’d seen in the posts to see if they checked out. I just couldn't get enough of it. The author wrote about events big and small, always with great attention to details that seemed uncanny. 

There was the premier of Shakespeare’s first play. The Sacking of Rome. The crucifixion of Jesus. The building of the pyramids. The arrival of the pilgrims. The moon landing. Almost anything I could think of in the history, there was a post about it. 

Some details or information seemed to be unverified speculation, controversial even, but the author wrote with such certainty and clarity that it seemed to take away any doubts. Even the small details that appeared to have no backing anywhere in the existing research seemed completely believable and I just took it all as a truth, without any need to doubt anything that the author was telling me. At the same time, the author was connecting the events to the lives of ordinary people, through whose eyes the stories were often told, and that brought the events to life in a way that I had never experienced with anything I had ever read.  

Eventually I ran out of posts to read, and I wanted to see if the author had published anything outside of the blog, which they had started just over five years ago, writing a new post every few weeks. Surely such a productive writer and undoubtedly a successful scholar would have published something somewhere. But I couldn't even find out who they were. There were no clues as to the identity of the author. The bio only said that the author enjoys documenting historical events. I thought that seemed a funny way of saying it, as to me ‘documenting’ makes it sound as if they were a first-hand witness to the events but one could hardly expect someone to have personally seen both Napoleon’s inauguration and the sinking of the Titanic as well as the shooting of JFK. 

The posts supplied no clues either, no references to any other publications, not even to any publications from anyone else. Which of course seems like the author was neglecting to give credit where credit was due. How did they know all this stuff, surely at least some of the information would originate in something someone else had wrote at some point. 

There was however a link to send an email to the author. I was somewhat hesitant to bother the author, as I wasn’t quite sure what I would say. And it’s just who I am, never bother anyone. But I just wanted to know more about everything. For a few weeks, I would every now and then click the link to open the window to write an email, perhaps dabble at a few words or sentences, and then in the end remove everything I had typed and close the window without sending anything.  

Then one morning I once again settled in front of my computer with a cup of coffee in my hand and clicked open the blog. It had been a few weeks since there had been any new posts, so I had been expecting one for some days now. Sure enough, there it was. A new post. 

I couldn’t wait to dive straight into it. The post was about the French revolution, told from the perspective of group of youngsters who had seen the mayhem and murder in the streets, and even the execution of the king. And who it turns out were then killed themselves when they were caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was perhaps the best post yet. Taking one of the biggest single events in world history and turning it into one of the most human stories I had ever read. I had to find out who the author was, if only to let them know that I was truly appreciating their work and that if they’d publish a book or anything I would be the first in line to buy it. 

Now I was determined to send the email, but to my surprise the link to do so was not to be found anymore. I was dismayed. I had squandered my chance to contact the author and now I was left with a burning need to find out who it was that was able to write in such a way that was entirely captivating my attention. And how did they know so much about all these historical events? 

Then I had an idea. I pulled through my browsing history to find the page where the link still existed. I’m not very skilled with computers, but with some help from a search engine and an AI assistant I was able to pull out the link and clicked on it. The window opened and I wrote a quick message and sent it. The response was an almost immediate notification of a failure to send the email being sent back to my inbox. My heart sank. The link didn’t work anymore. If it ever had. 

But my idea to investigate the history remained and I thought I could probably do the same on the internet in general as I had just done with my own browser and its history. I briefly thought of making a witty joke about it as the blog itself was about history and I was diving through the history of my browser and now the internet itself to find out who had written it, but then I remember that my sense of humour typically left other people looking at me with a blank expression on their faces, so I thought better of it. I decided I’d ask AI to come up with a witty comment later, for when I would recount these events at some future dinner party with my friends. I made another mental note at this point to investigate the possibilities of having some friends someday. 

Then I turned to look for a way to access earlier versions of web pages and found some resources. I tried to look through various archives to see if there were earlier versions of the blog that might have revealed more about the author. Sometimes people can be a bit more relaxed about sharing information about themselves on the internet when they are new to it, and maybe the author had just later removed any references that might give away their identity. 

At first, I wasn’t having much luck. While the bio and some descriptions had been changed a few times over the years, there was no further information available in any earlier versions going back to the start of the blog. 

Or was that the start? I suddenly realised one of the resources I was checking into was indicating I could go even further back in time. But how could that be? Why does Wayback machine show there is a version of the blog dating older than the first post, older than the start date of the blog? I clicked on the link and was faced with a greyed-out page saying access to the page was blocked. But clearly it seemed that the page had existed back then. Why had it been blocked? This was getting even more curious. 

I looked for even earlier versions, and after going through a few iterations of the blocked page, there they were. The original blog that was called “Time of buildings”. 

The blog had originally been different from how I had first found it. The name was different, and instead of writing about historical events, it had been about design and architecture through the times. The object of the blog was the building, the design, the furniture that was passing through time unchanged, or changed very little, far longer than the humans by whom it had been designed, built, inhabited. I got lost reading what was probably the last version of the blog by that content, before apparently it had been blocked and then reopened with a different title and purpose. The address was the same though. 

It did not make much sense though. Had the author simply had a change of interest? But why completely remove the old blog instead of just starting another? Or had someone else somehow taken over, and then replaced the whole original blog with something different? But the writing in the posts was every bit as engaging as the earlier – or later, as actually happened to be the case – posts I had been reading. I thought I recognized the style and to me there was no question about it. It was the same author. It had to be. Nobody else could turn the phrase like that, nobody else could keep me hanging to every next word as if it was the only lifeline that I had to keep me afloat in this world. Even when they were writing about something as mundane as the local buildings, which is what a large percentage of the posts were covering. But there was also always a historical connection, even if on a lesser scale than the word changing events of the later version of the blog. 

But who was it? Who was the author? Finding an answer to that question was turning into an obsession for me. 

This version gave no further insights into who might have been behind the blog. I went through earlier versions of the blog, back to its real original start more than ten years before the change in content. There were some pieces of information I could find; I knew now that the author was a female because there had been a bio where she had referred to herself as ‘she’. I knew that she had at least at one point been living in Boston, in one of the posts about some harbour building in Boston she referred to Boston as her place of domicile. And knowing that I realised that quite a few of the posts covered buildings or locations in Boston. 

In general, the earlier posts had a bit more references to her life, and I started to collect everything together in the hopes that in doing so I’d be able to start piecing things together and crack the mystery of her identity. She had made a few references to enjoying the night life as a single person, so presumably she was not married or even seeing anyone. 

She did not have pets, and she thought anything other than a dog or maybe a cat was just being pretentious and looking for individuality by following fads which is an obvious contradiction but oh so accurately describing how many people go through their lives. A chinchilla? A minipig? An iguana? All the same to her. And the dog, or maybe a cat, was something for a family with a father, a mother and two or more kids. Her family had had a dog when she was growing up and she was grateful for the experience but did not want to be taking care of one by herself. 

I was starting to feel I was getting to know her. I still did not have even a clue of a name though. And then suddenly I came across a post that had a photograph of her.  

There was a photograph of her.  

So far, all the pictures had been stock photos or photos of furniture or buildings, but this was her. It said so in the caption. “This is me, holding the award I just won for having the most knowledge of useless things,” the caption said. She ended that sentence with a winking smiley. She was holding up some kind of plaque. I quickly read the post, which was perhaps uncharacteristically short, but then it was just an update on something that had just happened rather than a deep dive into the use of geometric shapes in the decoration of the inner-city building facades. The post was her sharing the information that she had been given an award for her work in documenting the history of Boston’s architecture. This was it. This was the chance I had been looking for. 

Surely there would be a mention somewhere else of this award being given. I dove back to internet. Year was 1999, place Boston, the topic an award for documenting the architecture of Boston. I was prepared the search to still be quite cumbersome, but then I saw the first result. 

Cassandra Piel has received the 1999 Boston Open University scholars’ award for her work in documenting the old and new architecture of the city.  

That was her name. Cassandra Piel. 

Where is she now? Even if she wasn’t the author of the new version of the blog, maybe she knew who was. And in any case, I had truly enjoyed her posts as well, as different as they were from the ones to which I had first taken a fascination. 

I started to type her name into the search field and then I thought, what am I doing? Isn’t this a little bit creepy, if I really think about it? If she wanted to be reached by people reading her blog, she probably would have made it a little bit easier to do so. Maybe she wants to be left alone, maybe she enjoys the outlet of the blog to put her knowledge and thoughts out there for the world to see but wants to keep herself out of the spotlight. I also realised the original blog no longer even existed, and she might not have anything to do with the current version. 

Then I thought to myself that she had posted her photograph and made a reference to the award she had been given, so she wasn’t entirely shutting her private self away from the readers. She had also shared quite some details and information about herself. Not her name or address or anything like that, but perhaps she wouldn’t be totally unwelcoming of a reader reaching out to her. 

As a final way of convincing myself, I decided I would say I am following up on past winners of the Boston Open University Scholars’ award and would like to have a few words with her if she was open to it. 

So, I pressed enter and started going through the search results. I found out she did not have a rare name. Ok, I needed to limit the results. She lived in Boston, was writing a blog, interested in history of architecture, design of buildings and furniture, and their development and preservation through history. I started to make progress. I found out she had a university degree in history and architecture. I found out she had published some articles in a few magazines. She had briefly been a guest columnist at a local newspaper. She had given some lectures in her area of expertise in a few mid-level universities and had held a guest lecturer’s spot at Boston Open University for a couple of years. And she had died in a tragic accident in 2010. 

My heart sank again. That cannot be right. It cannot be her. But there was no denying the fact. The person who had been writing the blog about the architecture, furniture, interior and exterior design, Boston’s transformation through history and how it was affecting the people living in it and how it was affecting the people, was dead. Now it was obvious that there were two different authors. I had gone through the whole search for Cassandra’s identity only to find out that she along with her brilliance was no longer with us. And I was no closer to finding out who the author of the new version of the blog was. I had exhausted all the possible avenues of research, and I simply did not know what to do next but to give up. 

Then I saw a message from an unknown contact coming in on my instant messaging app. 

I accepted it, and the message popped up. “Hi,” it said. 

“Hi,” I replied. “Who is this?” 

“It’s Cassandra.” 

What a joke, I thought angrily. 

“I think you have been looking for me,” they continued. 

I felt angry, who was making such a joke? The woman was dead, and they wanted to somehow make fun of my obsession? 

“It really is me,” the person at the other end was trying to convince me. 

Thoughts were racing through my mind. Who was it? Who had I told about my obsession? And it started to dawn on me. I had not told anyone. Not a single soul. Nobody knew that I had been obsessing about finding her. Even if I had mentioned the blog and the author that I wanted to find to someone, nobody else knew that I had found a name for her. I had not had time to tell anyone. 

The contact had gone quiet. 

It couldn’t be. Dead people do not send instant messages. Maybe someone else had gone through the same research as I had, to the point they had found the name. That must be it. But even then, how could they know to be contacting me? Had a left a trail somewhere? Had I put a question to some discussion group at some point in my research that someone else could have picked up on? 

I hesitated, bit my lip, and then brought my fingers to my keyboard. 

“Who is this really?” 

“It really, really is me. I’m Cassandra.” 

“Very funny,” I wrote and closed the app. 

Then I saw a note that there was a new post in the blog. That was unusual, it had been only a couple of days since the last one. I opened the blog to read it, perhaps it would help to take my mind of the disappointment about the result of my search, and the anger about whoever was trying to mess with me. 

I look at the latest post, in disbelief. I read it out loud. “This is a message to someone who has been looking for me. Trust me, it really is me.” 

That was it, that was the whole post. My mind was racing, trying to make sense of what was happening. Then my instant message app flashed again to let me know of a new message. 

I opened it and read the message. 

“Let’s try that introduction again,” it said. 

Then, after a few moments pause, a new line appeared. 

“Hi, I’m Cassandra and I’m a time traveling ghost.”